Spring - death and rebirth

Spring --- the time of great change and rebirth.

My father died the first week of February – sudden, unexpected. He was “the healthy one” – and left my mother, who needs 24/7 supervision in his wake. It has been a time of finding the new in the ashes of the sudden changes.

I've always thought of Spring as a time of new growth. What I've realized in recent years is that often the newness arises from a depth of loss. Each year for several, I've noticed some catastrophe in February: loss of a husband, parent in hospital, death of a relative.

As I notice the changes clustering around this recent death of my father, I am reminded of the glistening newness of it all. And – it is amazing to watch each day unfold with the question of “what are the possibilities” – given this, and this, and this – new conditions revealing themselves constantly and rapidly in this course of events.

My mother, now in an assisted living situation in which her face lights up with new friendships. The lightening of our family history as my siblings and I review the accumulated possessions and habits of their 58 years of married life. Sorting. Talking. Discarding. Keeping and cherishing. Like the crocuses popping up in their vibrant purple and white hues, we all have a sense of starting again. And -- I feel my father in a glorious state and condition – very happy. I know this to be true.

Different conditions, new circumstances, some closets empty, some new places of the heart exposed.

I am grateful - for it all.