Kindness

Beyond compassion, the wish for easing of suffering – lies kindness, the wish for another’s happiness.

Think about that. Oh, it’s easy for someone we really love. Someone like our child. Someone who is not in direct competition for the job we want.

And, it’s not too much of a stretch if we’re thinking globally, as in: “I wish for all beings to be happy.” Not a lot of actual, personal involvement there.

But, what about that bozo that just cut you off in traffic or stole your perfect parking spot – the one with your name on it? What about that woman at work who has undercut (or stolen) every good proposal you’ve made since you started making good proposals? What about a sibling who (as far as you can tell) hasn’t made one kind statement to you since you were born?
What about them?

The topic here is wishing for another’s happiness. Lest you think we’ve strayed too far off the subject – like maybe to another planetary system – I want to hasten to say that we’re smack dab in the middle of the territory where this sublime wish is most, exactly, relevant.

Here’s what I notice: Every single time I get upset at somebody else, I carry away the residual tension. And it festers around inside like a blistering boil. I’ve tried all sorts of remedies to ease the ouch over the years, from periodically giving them what-for (they call this “venting” in professional circles) to silently meditating on release and forgiveness and whatnot. What I find works best of all is to just slide into the mantra of wishing for kindness to all involved.

The magic in this is “to all involved”. This includes me. Kindness. To me, too.

Because what I’ve noticed is that all are involved – in whatever whishes I’m extending. And being pissed off at somebody does harbor some intentions, conscious or not.

This is not to say certain events or people won’t frizzle our feathers. It’s just that this can invoke a broad array of possible responses, some better designed for our own health and wellbeing than others. And kindness, as a constitutional stance, brings with it the benefit we ourselves can reap: of feeling wrapped in kindness, too.

All kinds of amazing thing happen then. Like -- forgiveness. Which happens like an effortless glide on the track of this intended kindness. What has seemed difficult before happens as an automatic next step once we activate this track.

Like a tag on a Yogi Tea bag I recently had said, “The only tool you need is kindness”. This is my cup of tea.